Thursday, February 26, 2009

the 'A' word - adoption

I don't know who reads this blog - if anyone - but it is obvious what types of blogs I read. I read a lot of adoption blogs. For the most part the families I follow along with are nothing like Dylan and me. At this point in our life.

So why do I read these blogs...

I have a few things in my life that I truly feel passionate about. Adoption is on the top of that list. I feel adoption in my heart so strongly. However, I am not the type of person to shout my beliefs from the mountain tops so at this point in my life my thoughts/desires about adoption are mostly internalized.

When I first started reading adoption and family blogs I knew very little about adoption. I thought I knew, but in reality I had no idea. I have learned so much about the process of adoption. Not the paper process, but the real life process. The joys and the PAIN.

I do not feel comfortable enough or know enough about adoption to openly talk about it. I do not have the personal experience of adoption so how can I really act like I have any idea of what it is all about. My only connections are blogs and a few distant family friends. Dylan and I are far removed from even the beginning stages.

I do know that I can not stand people's ignorance about adoption. It is the one adoption topic where I have no problem speaking my mind! The ignorance I see and hear greatly upsets me. I even have family members who honestly do not get it. At all. Almost racist like. It is painful.

Some of the question and comments I hear are ridiculous to me. "Don't you want to know what your child would look like?" I honestly do not have that desire one bit. An adoptive child is my child - that is what my child looks like! I do not care who's eyes or who's smile.

"Why do you want someone else's kid?" To me, if that kid is my kid he/she was always meant to be my kid. "Why don't you adopt within the US?" Sure, I will, that is an option. I do not care about where the child was born. Like I said, that particular child that becomes our child was always meant to be our child. Our family will be made of God one way or the other!

I do not know how Dylan's and my life will play out. We don't have that magical crystal ball (oh goodness do I wish we did sometimes!). I do not know how or when our children will come into our lives or if we will be fortunate enough to experience adoption.

But, I am so thankful for the community of blogging adoptive families. They are my connection and my resource to a world I want in my life. I am so grateful to have found each blog I have listed as a favorite. Each family is different and real. I have learned so much about the world, about others and about myself by following along with their daily adventures. And each day I realize more and more my heart's pull toward adoption. Thank you families.


This post was very personal for me. However, I had to write it because I wonder what the few people who do read this blog think when they see a list of favorites full of adoptive family blogs! :-) It also felt great to shout my thoughts from this mountain top!

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Go for it when you're ready!
Who cares what others' "think."
Jae Nelson

Miranda Karl Christianson said...

WOW I couldn't have said it better myself! Great post Kelli! This is a topic that I hold close to my heart too. I've ALWAYS wanted to adopt a child. Oh and I read the Matt, Liz and Madeline blog too!!!